Friday, May 28, 2010

Little Miss Muffet Sat on Her Tuffet...

What the heck is a tuffet anyway?

Oh well, doesn't matter... This story doesn't include anyone by the name of Muffet and it certainly doesn't have any tuffets.

But it is true. And to some people it is rather funny.

It all happened yesterday at my sister-in-law's house... We gathered to celebrate the 13th birthday of my niece, Jessica. (Which by the way I cannot believe she is a teenager already!) When we arrived she was excited to show us the birthday present she received from her parents, a creepy crawly TARANTULA! We gathered in her bedroom and peered through the clear plastic tank wall that separated us from the reddish-brown, hairy, and all together creepy new joy of Jesse's life. It didn't move and we were told that was because it was a little out of sorts and nervous. Much like I was feeling while gazing upon it's eight creepy legs.

We decided to give it a break, and go downstairs to enjoy a delicious salmon dinner in honor of Jesse's big day. Shortly after eating, the adults were sitting around visiting. Next thing we heard was Nicholas squeal from the top of his lungs "JESSE...Your spider's cage is on the floor and the spider is missing!" We all were hoping this was Nick's idea of a cruel joke. Um... No... People... This. Was. NO. Joke.

Shannon, Connor, Nick, Jesse, and I carefully entered Jesse's room certain that her cat, Molly, had swiped at the small cage unintentionally setting the freakin' TARANTULA free. We were looking (very carefully) in all the nook and crannies. We checked the dark corners behind her desk and behind her bed. We found her cat, Molly, hiding in the corner. There was a giant stuffed bear next to Molly. Nick and Shannon peered over the bear about to pick it up when I said... "Be sure to shake it out before you lift it up, just in case the spider is stuck on it." Shannon agreed and began gently shaking the cute stuffed animal... then I heard her say "Oh... Don't make a move, Nick!" Next thing I knew, Nick bounced about 3 feet in the air and looked like he was about to wet his pants. The spider fell off the bear and onto his head! OMG!!

Shannon quickly scooped up the hairy beast and was holding it in her palm, I thought I was gonna pass out. But she was laughing. Laughing a little too much for what had just transpired. And so was Jesse...

We had been duped! It was a dead spider. It was a tarantula...but it was just a exoskeleton of a once living tarantula. Picture a spider after it had been to the taxidermy if you will... Looks totally real. (Yeah...He's not moving because he's nervous...yada, yada, yada...) They had planned this whole scenario before we even got to their house that evening! Shannon had secretly staged this whole scene shortly after dinner was over and had sneakily held the spider in her hand the whole time we were searching the room for the missing arachnid. Nick was peeved!! But we were all laughing in the end. Nick was not the original target, he just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time...that's what he gets for trying to help out his cousin. :)

Ok, it was pretty dang funny. We will laugh about this for many years to come, I'm sure. I bet Jesse will never forget the day she turned thirteen (and neither will Nick).


PRP said...

I would have killed someone. Seriously.

Maddog Salamander said...

Maybe a little off-subject, but my dad used to tell me that a "tuffet" was a "kahunkus." I guess the real question is: what is a kahunkus?